Hi Coach :) Every day, we’re surrounded by opportunities to learn—sometimes, the simplest interactions around us are rich with lessons waiting to be discovered. This morning, as I pondered a question many coaches ask about practising communication skills with just a few clients, it hit me: every interaction, even those you’re not directly involved in, offers a chance to improve your coaching skills. For example, while observing discussions in various settings—a shop, a meeting room, or the gym—I often notice who dominates the conversation and who listens. It strikes me that often, those who do most of the talking would benefit most from learning to ask questions. These moments aren’t just observations but lessons in communication dynamics and human behaviour, invaluable for coaches, consultants and leaders. Drawing inspiration from Robert Greene’s The Laws of Human Nature, I’ve adopted the practice of keeping a logbook of such observations. This isn’t just an exercise in noting what happens around me but a deliberate practice to deepen my understanding and refine my coaching techniques. This daily email, sharing insights and lessons, directly applies this practice—a meta-level example of how we can all document and learn from everyday experiences. Here’s your challenge: Start tuning into the conversations and interactions around you. Ask yourself, “How would I have handled that situation?” or “How would I have improved that conversation?” This isn’t about judgment but learning and applying these insights to improve your communication skills. Whether it’s a waiter at a restaurant asking a routine question or observing how your parents interact with your kids, think about how you would do it better and why.
Let’s start with our own coaching sessions. (I use Fathom to record all my online coaching sessions) Observing and reflecting on how we conduct our sessions can be hugely instructive, but we often avoid examining our own work.
The goal is to become a detached observer and turn what you see into actionable insights. By refining our self-awareness, situational awareness, and observational skills, we become better coaches and more thoughtful individuals. I encourage you to start a logbook of your daily interactions and observations. You’ll be surprised how much this simple act can transform your approach and coaching effectiveness. Reply to this email and tell me about a recent situation you observed and what you learned from it. 🗣️ 👀 Chris |
Chris Marr is the Author of 'Become an Authoritative Coach' and works with established client-facing professionals to help them go from good to great and have more breakthrough conversations with their clients and teams.
Hi Coach, I’m excited to share some great news with you today – my audiobook is officially available on Audible! Recording this audiobook was an incredibly rewarding experience. A year after the book was published, a few close people encouraged me to get into the studio and make it happen. Over two days and nine hours of recording, we turned Become an Authoritative Coach into a two-and-a-half-hour audiobook, which is now ready for you to listen to. 🎧 Download from Audible today What made this...
Hi Coach, I was recently a guest on Trevor Lee’s Better Presentations More Sales podcast, and it was a fantastic conversation you don’t want to miss. The episode is titled Don’t be a people pleaser, and we dove deep into the problem of people pleasing, especially in the context of delivering presentations. It’s a challenge I’ve been targeting, and there’s a lot I unpacked in this interview that I haven’t shared before. 🎧 Listen here: Don't be a people pleaser with Chris Marr One of the key...
Hi Coach, Thanks to those who responded with your thoughts on how you would handle the client situation I shared earlier. Now, I would like to explain how I actually responded and explain why this approach works. But first, let’s look at how a people pleaser and an authoritative coach might react differently. The people-pleaser response People pleasers often have a high need to be liked, and that can drive their behaviour in tough moments like this. When a client comes to you with...