Hi Coach,

Thanks to those who responded with your thoughts on how you would handle the client situation I shared earlier.

Now, I would like to explain how I actually responded and explain why this approach works.

But first, let’s look at how a people pleaser and an authoritative coach might react differently.

The people-pleaser response

People pleasers often have a high need to be liked, and that can drive their behaviour in tough moments like this.

When a client comes to you with frustration, a people pleaser tends to take things personally.

It’s not uncommon for them to respond defensively or even fall on their sword, taking all the blame to keep the client happy.

There’s an urge to justify the work and say things like:

“Oh, but we’ve done all this work together, and it’s been going great! It just needs more time.”

Or:

“If we’re patient, the results will come. We just have to stick with it.”

In these cases, the people pleaser is trying to maintain peace, but in doing so, they’re not addressing the actual concern.

Their responses often end up full of justifications, trying to ease tension but not solving the real problem.

Worse yet, there’s this fear-driven mindset of, “Oh no, what if they leave? What if we lose the contract?”

This reaction is focused on self-preservation rather than on helping the client.

👉🏻 If you know that people pleasing is holding you and your clients back from doing your best work, join my programme here.​

The authoritative coach response

Now, let’s consider how an authoritative coach would respond.

First, they welcome the fact that the client is bringing up the issue.

Internally, they think: "I’m glad they’ve come to me with this. If there’s anyone who should be addressing this, it’s me. This is exactly where I can make a difference."

Step one for the authoritative coach is recognising that the client is not here to leave or cancel the contract—they are here because they need help.

As an authoritative expert, your job is to provide that help, not to become defensive or panicky.

You know the work won’t always go to plan, and that’s okay.

Your job is to be ready to handle and solve these problems.

Step two is to get on the same side of the table as the client.

Instead of seeing the client’s frustration as a personal attack, the authoritative coach shifts perspective and says, “Let’s tackle this together.”

They align with the client to view the problem as a shared challenge both parties can solve.

Step three is to turn assumptions into questions.

This is where the real power comes in: instead of assuming you know what the client means by “results” or immediately apologising and taking blame, you turn those assumptions into questions.

Anything you’re unsure about or that feels unclear, you turn into a question.

You aim to get all the necessary information to understand the issue entirely.

For example, instead of guessing what they mean by “results,” you ask:

1. "When you say results, what specifically are we talking about?"
2. "Where were you expecting to be by now?"

By leading with these questions, you’re opening the door for real clarity and showing the client that you’re fully engaged in understanding and solving the problem.

👉🏻 Join my programme, and I will teach you exactly how to be able to respond like this without flinching​

How I responded

When my client approached me with this frustration, I took the authoritative coach approach.

I didn’t jump to defending our work or start apologising.

Instead, I embraced the challenge. I thought, “This is exactly why I’m here—to help solve these problems."

I aligned with them, showing that we’re in this together.

Then, I led with questions, just like I outlined above.

I asked:

1. "When you say results, what do you mean?"
2. “Where were you hoping to be by now?”
3. "How long has this been going on?"
4. “Why am I only finding out now?”
5. "What do you feel like we’ve missed?"

By the end of the session, we had pinpointed the exact problem and a clear plan of action to overcome it.

The client left the conversation feeling heard, understood, and renewed confidence in our process.

Now that you’ve seen both approaches, how do you think your response compares?

Reply to me with your thoughts, and let's continue the conversation.

🗣️ 👀

Chris

PS. I'd love to teach, coach and train you on exactly how to develop an authoritative presence. Find out how to work with me here.

***

[Here's Part 1 for reference]

Hi Coach,

Let me set the scene for you.

I was jumping into a session with a client, a sales and marketing strategy client I’ve been working with for six months.

I think everything’s on track, and I'm prepared for a typical coaching session.

But right out the gate, the client surprises me with...

"Chris, we’re getting really frustrated.

We’ve put in the work over the last six months, but we’re not seeing the results we expected.

We’re nowhere close to feeling like we’re getting the ROI we need!"

In that moment, how do you think I felt?⭐️

Feeling frustrated or even a bit defensive is normal—wanting to protect your work.

These feelings can come up fast.

And here's the key: what happens next depends on how you choose to respond.

So, I want you to think about this:

How would a people pleaser respond here?

Someone who wants to keep the peace, avoid conflict, and make the client happy at all costs.

And how would an authoritative communicator—an authoritative coach—respond?

Someone who holds their ground, acknowledges the client’s frustration, and confidently guides the conversation forward to find solutions.

Now, it’s over to you.

Reply to me and tell me how you would respond in this moment and why.

When you reply, I’ll send you what actually happened and how I responded in that moment.

🗣️ 👀

Chris

PS. This is an example of the work I do with high-performing client-facing professionals. Find out how to work with me here.